He Had it Coming
by Paint Splat
Summary: A man never gets murdered if he didn't have it coming straight at him. AU-ish. *Rated T for gore and language*
1. Pop

_**Ahhh, I love the movie Chicago! This is just a random bunch of songfics inspired by the Cell Block Tango from it. Who doesn't love badass girls?**_

_**Disclaimer: A list of things I don't own would definitely include iCarly, Victorious and Chicago.**_

"_You know how people have these little habits that get you down. Like Bernie.  
Bernie like to chew gum. No, not chew. POP.  
So I came home this one day and I am really irritated, and I'm looking for a bit of sympathy, and there's Bernie lyin' on the couch, drinkin' a beer and chewin'. No, not chewin'. Poppin'! So, I said to him, I said, "you pop that  
gum one more time..." and he did.  
So I took the shotgun off the wall and I fired two warning shots...into his head.  
He had it coming, he had it coming, he only had himself to blame.  
If you'd have been there, if you'd have heard it, I betcha you would have done the same!" Liz, Cell Block Tango_

Trina Vega stormed home from work in a fiery temper. Every day at the office the idiot secretary Jordan would constantly bother her, getting her numerous cups of coffee, copying stuff, asking her questions, bright-eyed, eager and a complete idiot. In high school Trina would have loved Jordan, but as she got older she realised what an attention whore she was. Much like Jordan.

High school. Wow. What a great time in Hollywood Arts she had.

Not really. That was sarcasm. When her sister Tori came, Trina was not just the untalented Vega girl, but now the untalented Vega girl with the hot, talented, amazing younger sister.

It killed.

Maybe she should call Tori? They could hang out, smoke, maybe drink a bit and chat . . . but then Trina remembered. Tori was pissed at her for asking out her crush and a bunch of whole other things that Trina couldn't be bothered to remember. Tori didn't drink anyway. Or smoke. Or have fun anymore.

That was why Trina Vega was in a bad mood.

She entered the apartment she shared with Bernie, the one boyfriend who had bothered to stay with her. He wasn't much. A bit of an obsessive gum chewer, actually. No. Gum popper.

"Bernie, I'm home!" she yelled as she walked in and pulled of her high heels.

No response. Trina rolled her eyes. Where was that oaf?

She walked into the lounge and there was Bernie lying on the couch, watching football and drinking his second can of beer. And chewing gum. No. Popping.

"Bernie." she said. He ignored her.

"Bernie. Bernie! BERNIE!" she screamed. He continued to act like she wasn't there.

"Bernie, I swear if you pop that gum one more time . . ." she left it an empty threat.

Bernie looked at her for a long time. Then, slowly, he popped his gum.

Fuming mad, Trina stormed to the other side of the room. She was seeing red. She didn't want to do this.

No, she did.

She grabbed the shot gun off the wall and walked back next to the couch. She fired two warning shots.

Into his head.

This was why Katrina Emily Vega was now being questioned because she 'murdered' Bernie. Murdered? Psh, she had a reason.

Officer Harrison looked at her.

"Why?" he asked simply. "Why did you do it?"

Trina shrugged. "He had it coming." she sighed.

That was right. Bernie deserved it.

"One does not simply murder a man without reason." he stated, getting wound up by this infuriating woman.

"He had it coming." she said again. "That is my reason."

Officer Harrison sighed. "Take her to a cell, boys."

As Trina was pulled away, she felt a sense of elation. She wasn't just Tori's annoying older sister. She was Tori's older sister the murderer.


	2. Six

_**Chapter two! Enjoy, read and review please.**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious, iCarly or Chicago.**_

"_I met Ezekiel Young from Salt Lake City about two years ago and he told me he was single, and we hit it off right away. So, we started living together. He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd fix him a drink, we'd have dinner. And then I found out "Single." he told me. Single my ass. Not only was he married ...oh, no, he had six wives. One of those Mormons, you know. So that night, when he came home from work, I fixed him his drink as usual. You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic. _

_He had it coming, he had it coming he took a flower in its prime, and then he used it, and he abused it. It was a murder but not a crime!" Annie, Cell Block Tango._

Cat Valentine drowned another shot. She was sitting in a bar out of town, not a place she would usually be, and not exactly herself. Okay, she was drunk. And depressed. She'd recently broken up with this terrible boyfriend, with a stupid name like Andre, because he'd been cheating on her. For one fleeting moment she wondered where he was now.

No. This was no time for morning her many ex-boyfriends. This was the time to go and meet someone new. She scanned the room, looking for someone hot and preferably alone.

There. Right in the corner of the other bar. He looked around the same age as her, had black curly hair and glasses. He was OK, she supposed.

He would do. She combed her fingers through her blood-red hair and walked over to him, remembering to sway her hips. He scanned her and she smiled.

"Hey." she said brightly.

"Hey." he replied. "I'm Robbie Shapiro. And you?"

"Cat Valentine." Cat said, sitting next to him and making sure she was as close as she could possibly get.

"Are you single, Robbie?" she suddenly asked.

"Yeah." he said smoothly.

"Fantastic." she giggled, and pulled him down into a heart-melting kiss.

It was two years later and Cat was living with Robbie in a dingy apartment. They had a routine that worked most of the time, unless he was drunk. Or she was drunk. They'd made a pact never to get drunk at the same time.

He'd go to work and she worked from home, designing websites. He'd come home and she'd make her award-winning cocktails. It was a happy partnership.

Until about two months ago.

She'd tried questioning him about before he met her, but he always clammed up. She'd had enough.

Cat hurried across the rooms into their bedroom and knelt by the left side of the bed. She pulled open the fitted draw, and then pulled out a photo album belonging to Robbie.

She opened the book and her eyes grew wide. It was a picture of Robbie in a tux and some girl who she didn't know in a white dress. It was a wedding photo.

"He's MARRIED?!" she exclaimed, shocked. She quickly flipped through the rest of the album, hoping to find some clues about this mysterious wife, yet only found five more wedding photos.

All of them with a different woman.

"That Mormon asshole." she cursed, her thoughts blinded with anger. She wanted revenge.

And Cat had the perfect idea.

She heard the door open and quickly finished putting the special ingredient in his cocktail. It was only in his cocktail.

"Hi, honey." he smiled, pulling her in for a kiss. She shuddered inside but responded, hoping to throw him off.

"Hey, Robbie. Look, I made your cocktail already!" she said, showing him the glass.

He gladly took the glass from her and drowned it. She giggled.

"Fantastic." she said, remembering a time two years ago in a bar. She was so stupid that night.

She slowly waited for the poison to start affecting him.

There. He went pale, then bright red. He started choking.

"Cat!" he said desperately. "What's in this cocktail?"

She ignored him.

She looked down onto his dead body.

"Some guys just can't hold their arsenic." she sighed. She laughed and left the apartment forever.

Like she'd get away that easily. She was in custody, being questioned.

"Officer Harrison sighed. This was the second case this week of a woman murdering her partner and he'd had enough.

"Miss Valentine, why did you murder Mr Shapiro?" he asked the girl. She looked a bit dumb, not the sort of girl who could poison a man without a second thought.

"He deserved it." she stated.

He put his head in his hands. Why were women so stupid?

"Take her to the cell." he commanded, head still in his hands.

He needed a coffee.

Cat lit a cigarette as soon as she got in the cell. There was a wall on one side and another cell on the other. She didn't know if it was occupied.

She turned to look through the bars into it.

"Well, well, well, Caterina Valentine." said a voice, and then a woman moved out of the shadows.

Cat gasped. It was Trina Vega, her best friend from Hollywood Arts.

"Trina?" she asked uncertainly.

"In the flesh. What are you doing here?" Trina asked. She never thought Cat would be in jail.

"I poisoned my filthy cheating boyfriend." she said with venom, then laughed. "What about you?"

"He was annoying so I shot him twice in the head." she shrugged.

Cat was stunned. "You shot him . . . because he was annoying?" she asked, then burst out laughing.

Trina grabbed the lighter off Cat and lit her cigarette.

"You and me," she said.

"Together forever." completed Cat, remembering their rhyme from high school.

"Through thick and thin." they said together then giggled.

Jail seemed so much more pleasant now.


	3. Squish

_**Okay, so before I begin this chapter I'd like to make a few points.**_

_**First, you will see why this story is an iCarly/Victorious crossover in this chapter.**_

_**Second, since homework gets in the way of my writing time and I had netball team practise today I have devised a little schedule of when I'll update my stories this week.**_

_**Tuesday- He Had it Coming**_

_**Wednesday- She Cried Black Tears (possibly, because I do have something to do tomorrow that will take around an hour, and then there's homework. And I have to type it up as well.)**_

_**Thursday- She Cried Black Tears (the most likely day I'll update it) and He Had it Coming**_

_**Friday- A NEW Victorious story and He Had it Coming.**_

_**All will be revealed on Friday why I'm rushing out this story. Until then, read, review and enjoy this chapter.**_

_**Oh, and the part of the story before the affair with the milkman isn't from Chicago, I just needed a reason for her to start the affair, so I picked abuse. Yeah, spoiler alert. Don't like don't read.**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious, iCarly or Chicago. I wish I did, but I don't.**_

"_Now, I'm standing in the kitchen minding my own business, carvin' up the chicken for dinner,  
in storms my husband Wilbur in a jealous rage.  
"You been screwin' the milkman,"  
he says. He was crazy.  
And he kept on screamin' "You been screwin the milkman."  
And then he ran into my knife.  
He ran into my knife ten times.  
If you'd have been there  
If you'd have seen it  
I betcha you would have done the same!" June, Cell Block Tango_

**Sam**

Sam had been married to Freddie for around three years. He was starting to talk about having kids. Sam wasn't sure if she wanted kids yet. Kids were a big responsibility and she wasn't sure she could handle that. Besides, she was starting to feel she really didn't like Freddie that much anymore. . .

_Five months later_

To say the Benson household isn't happy is an understatement. You could hear the arguing and screaming from across the hall. You could hear the music blaring as they shut each other out. You could hear the blows dealt. Every sharp sound, every agonising breath before the screaming started again.

**Sam**

Sam woke up one morning freezing. That meant Freddie had already left. Good riddance. She shuffled to the bathroom and examined the recent wounds on her face. There was one on her cheek, a great hand-sized bruise. She sighed in pain and grabbed her concealer, applying the makeup quickly and delicately. She'd had years of practise.

The doorbell rang. Sam put away her concealer and rushed to the door. Checking the time, it could only be Kenny, the guy who delivered their milk.

She opened the door and ran a hand through her hair.

_I must look a mess_, she thought. She hadn't had a chance to even _look_ at her arms.

Kenny smiled at her uncertainly.

"Here's your milk . . ." he said. She must be bruised on her arms then.

"Thanks." she replied shakily. The last beating had really hurt. She was weak and letting her guards down. She needed to push him away.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked. She knew he'd say that.

"Yeah. I'm fine." she nodded. He still looked unsure.

"Where did you get those bruises?" he asked.

"Oh, those? I . . . fell. I'm really clumsy." she turned and collapsed on the couch.

He walked in and sat down next to her.

"Sam, I live downstairs. I hear the yelling. I hear . . . the slapping." he said.

"Kenny . . ." she protested.

"Sam, I won't sit here and let you be punched each night." he said. She looked into his eyes. They were caring, unlike Freddie's cold cruel eyes.

She kissed Kenny. He responded and Sam felt like crying.

Finally. Someone who cared.

_Three months later_

**Freddie**

Freddie Benson was in a particularly good mood tonight, a good enough mood to let his wife off the beating that came usually every night. He opened the door and saw . . . no Sam.

He checked everywhere. Finally he opened the door to the bedroom slowly, in case she was asleep. There she was, cuddled around . . . wait, what was that?

It looked like . . . another man. No, no. It couldn't be.

It was.

Freddie crept closer to look at his filthy cheating wife and that other boy.

He was utterly shocked to see Kenny the milkman. The milkman!

He would confront her tonight . . .

**Sam**

She was in the kitchen, carving the chicken for dinner when Freddie stormed in and headed straight towards her. Shocked, she put her knife in front of her in defence.

"You've been screwing the milkman!" he screamed at her.

She shook her head. "No. You're crazy Freddie!" she said, hoping she wouldn't see through her lie.

"You have! You've been screwing the milkman!" he screeched.

"No, I haven't! Shut up!" she yelled back at him.

"You have! Admit it, Sam!" he said smugly.

She finally lost her temper. Unaware of what she was really doing, she stabbed him.

He looked down, stunned. She was also dazed, staring at the blood trickling down from his stomach.

"Sam . . ." he murmured.

She stabbed him again to shut him up. And again and again and again.

After ten stabs she looked down onto his dead body. She kissed his cold lips.

"Goodbye Freddie." she whispered.

_Later_

Just when everything seemed to be going swell, the law caught up with her. As usual. Officer Harrison was an old friend of hers from her Juvie days.

"Sam, Sam, Sam. Why?" he asked, nursing his coffee mug.

"I . . . he . . . he had it coming." she said at last. She didn't want to explain the abuse to him. It wouldn't make a difference. The bastard was dead.

"Why do women always say that?" he cried to no one in particular.

"So. . . Am I going to Juvie again?" she asked hopefully. Sam was twenty-five. That was still young, right?

"Oh no. No, Sam, we're taking you straight to jail."

"Seattle?" she asked, hoping to see her cousin and uncle.

"LA." he said. Her face fell.

_The next day_

**Sam**

Sam looked around the canteen of the jail in LA. The girls wore drab grey uniforms.

"Sammie?" said a shy voice from behind.

Sam tensed. Only one person had ever called her that. She turned round.

A girl with hair the colour of red velvet stood there, looking too innocent for prison and slightly nervous.

"Cat?" she asked. "What the hell are you doing in jail?"

"I poisoned my boyfriend." she giggled. "You?"

"I stabbed my husband."

"Cool. Come with me, Trina wants to see you." Cat said.

"Trina Vega? She's here as well. Are all the girls from Hollywood Arts here?" Sam said.

"No, that would be _really_ weird. It's just you me and Trina." Cat lit a cigarette.

Sam grinned. Jail was OK. Besides, it's not like they'd hang her, right?

_**OK, crappy chapter, bad ending, if you want me to rewrite this I'll gladly do it. The next one will be better. Sam and Freddie are both OOC, sorry, and also if Cat was OOC in the last chapter then sorry as well but whatever really.**_


	4. Uh Uh

_**Okay, below is a ROUGH translation of what Katalyn says in the song. I used my knowledge of what she says (which is good) and Google Translate for the translation. The Hungarian is from a lyrics website so I apologize for any mistakes. And I made Carly Hungarian for the purpose of this story, so I guess this is an AU story, kind of. And Carly understands English but she can't speak it, by the way. **_

_**Read and review!**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly, Victorious or Chicago.**_

"_Mit keresek, én itt? Azt mondják, hogy a híres lakem lefogta a férjemet én meg lecsaptam a fejét. De nem igaz, én ártatlan vagyok. Nem tudom miért mondja Uncle Sam, hogy én tettem. Probáltam  
a rendõrségen megmagyarázni de nem értették meg..." Katalyn, Cell Block Tango  
__Translation:_

"_Why am I here? They say my famous lover held down my husband and I chopped his head off. But it's not true, I am innocent. I don't know why my Uncle Sam says I did it. I tried to explain to the police but they did not understand . . ."_

**Carly**

She couldn't believe it. There he was, lying on the ground, blood surrounding him in a swimming pool of sticky mess. And his head, Oh god, his head. It wasn't there. Instead, there was blood and gore. Carly couldn't help it. She screamed loudly.

Officer Harrison, who lived upstairs, heard this and ran swiftly down the stairs and into her and Gibby's apartment. Well, it used to be hers and Gibby's. Now it appeared that wasn't true.

"What the hell happened in here!?" he said, taking in Carly's blood-splattered clothes and Gibby's headless body.

"Megölték! Találtam őt itt fekve vér!" (He was murdered! I found him here lying in blood!) she said, shaking with fear and nerves.

He wouldn't think she had done it, would he?

"Speak English, girl." Officer Harrison growled.

"Nem tudok." (I can't.) Carly said sadly.

"Okay, I've had it up to hear with you female murderers. You're coming down to the jail." he said, handcuffing her hands together.

Carly had no idea what was happening. She tried to pull away but Officer Harrison was strong.

"Várj! No, mit csinálsz?" (Wait! No, what are you doing?) she yelled. She tried rapidly to think of the English she knew.

"Uh uh! Not guilty, not guilty!"

_The next day._

**Carly**

She trembled, her hands hanging onto her cross necklace for dear life. It was pure hell here. She prayed God would have mercy on her and let her out of this stinking hole and to freedom back in Hungary.

Officer Harrison walked in with a man who she knew very well.

"Uncle Sam! Te vagy itt! Mondd meg ezt az embert, hogy ártatlan vagyok!" (Uncle Sam! You're here! Tell this man I'm innocent!)

Uncle Sam looked down on her angrily.

"Carly! Miért tetted gyilkosság hogy az ember?" (Carly! Why did you murder that man?) he yelled.

"Nem tettem!" (I didn't!) she protested.

"Pofa be! Ne hazudj!" (Shut up! Don't lie!)

"Take her to the cell- she's guilty." he said to Officer Harrison. The man nodded and grabbed Carly's hands.

Carly recognised the world guilty.

"No! NO!" she screeched, struggling away, only to be grabbed again.

"Gyerünk, Carly. Menjünk." (Come on, Carly. Let's go.) he said, leading her out the interrogation room.

_The next day_

**Carly**

Carly nervously looked around the washroom. She hung onto her cross necklace and slowly made her way towards a sink, beside three woman, one brunette, one blonde and one with startlingly red hair that couldn't possibly be real.

The brunette giggled and stared at Carly, who felt her cheeks flush red.

"Wonder what this flower did?" she remarked. The redhead laughed and lit a cigarette. The blonde sniffed at this.

"Én nem csináltam a bűncselekmény. Not guilty." (I didn't do the crime. Not guilty.) she said, coughing as the redhead's smoke blew into her face.

"Nice. I'm Trina. Blondie over there is Sam and the other's Cat. Nice to meet you . . .?" said the brunette.

"Carly." Carly said.

"Don't wory. We're all friends here." said Sam, smiling slightly and crossing her arms.

"Trina, Cat! Get over here, you're on towel duty!" yelled a voice.

"Coming Mama!" yelled Cat, dragging Trina away, leaving Carly with Sam.

"So . . . you're innocent?" asked Sam.

Carly nodded. "Mit csináltál?" (What did you do?) she pointed at Sam.

Sam looked confused but then got it.

"What did _I_ do? I stabbed my husband." she sighed, rubbing her arms.

Carly could never imagine stabbing Gibby.

"Miért?" (Why?) she asked, shrugging, hoping Sam got the message.

Sam apparantly did. She pulled her sleeve back slowly, as if it pained her, exposing a bunch of bruises in an array of colours, ranging from purple to green to yellow.

Carly gasped. Gibby had always been so gentle with her, why wasn't the situation the same with Sam?

She pulled the blonde into a hug and felt Sam relax in her arms.

_So this was jail . . ._

_**As you've probably guessed I'm rubbish at ending chapters for this. Thankyou dear readers, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I put in some Cam and Catrina friendship, and there will be Jori friendship in the last chapter.**_

_**I shouldn't have said that.**_

_**Bye!**_


	5. Cicero

_**I am so so sorry for not updating. I will try to finish this story (if I can think of a way to finish it after Tori goes to jail).**_

_**Guess who has hair like Velma Kelly? THIS GAL!**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious, iCarly or Victorious. **_

"_My sister Veronica and I had this double act and my husband, Charlie, travelled around with us.  
Now, for the last number in our act, we did 20 acrobatic tricks in a row.  
One two three four, five, splits, spread eagles, back flips, flip flops, one right after the other.  
Well, this one night before the show, we were down at the hotel Cicero, the three of us,  
boozin' and havin' a few laughs. And we ran out of ice, so I go out to get some.  
I come back, open the door and there's Veronica and Charlie doing Number Seventeen-  
the spread eagle.  
Well, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out. I can't remember a thing.  
It wasn't until later; when I was washing the blood off my hands I even knew they were dead.  
They had it coming, they had it coming.  
They had it coming all along.  
I didn't do it, but if I'd done it, how could you tell me that I was wrong?" Velma Kelly, Cell Block Tango._

**~X~**

"Give it up once more for the amazing West sisters!" the announcer's voice booms with the help of the microphone. Jade and her sister Isabella walked off stage to applause and cheers from their admirers, who were throwing flowers at them.

"Thank you!" yelled Isabella, as she caught a bunch of roses. The crowd whistled at this and Jade grimaced. Her sister had always been everyone's favourite.

"Hey, you did a good job on that last show." said Beck, Jade's husband, coming over to give her a hug and a kiss. It always surprised her that Beck preferred her over Isabella. Her younger sister was bright, bubbly, sweet, popular, exactly Beck's type. She was darker, a loner with a quick temper. But Beck continuously insisted that he loved her and only her, and she never doubted him.

"Come on, tomorrow we're back LA for the last show. Let's get some rest, it's a long drive." said Isabella. Beck nodded.

Jade and Isabella travelled around preforming their jazz act and they were finally going back to LA after being on tour.

Isabella bumped into Beck's side on the way up to their hotel rooms. "Oh, sorry Beck." she gushed, then ran up the rest of the stares; a constant ball of energy. Beck smiled at this.

Jade narrowed her eyes at this little scene. In her youth, when she and Beck were dating, she used to always get possessive when another girl even so much as looked at Beck, but she had calmed down as she got older. Sort of.

**~X~**

"Do you guys wanna hit Cicero?" asked Jade. It had been a long practice session, what with twenty acrobatic tricks in a row. Jade and Isabella had made sure the routine was extra complicated; the liked to please the crowd.

"Yeah, sure, whatever." said Beck, smiling.

They headed to the small hotel near the studios, sat down and ordered drinks. Soon there was laughter as they shared stories of their high school days. The drinks kept on coming, wine, beer and vodka.

"Oh crap, we're out of ice!" laughed Isabella, like it was a joke.

"I'll go get some more." offered Jade. She stumbled out her chair and left the room, leaving Beck and Isabella alone.

**~X~**

Jade had left to get some more ice. Beck turned away from her retreating figure and looked at her sister Isabella. Beautiful Isabella.

She looked suddenly sober; he knew she was that good an actress to fool Jade that she was drunk.

"How long does getting ice take?" Beck asked her.

"Long enough." she answered, scraping out of her seat and going to sit on his lap, kissing Beck passionately. Lucky there was no one around.

The kiss soon got more heated and Isabella took Beck's shirt off. He got off the chair and she placed practically all her weight on him, wrapping her legs around him.

"Jade's gonna be back soon." he panted.

"Who cares?" gasped Isabella.

"I care." said a voice. Isabella and Beck swore simultaneously and he let her down. Jade was standing behind him, looking vicious and deadly.

"Jade, hi, we were doing . . . the routine." Beck gave an excuse that was pointless. Jade snorted at his obvious lie.

"I see that." she said, walking closer.

Isabella smiled sweetly at her sister. "Jade, are you really going to take so long? I'm sure the ice will have melted by know."

"Cut the crap, Isabella." Jade snarled "I saw what was going on. I get the picture. Now tell me what the hell is _actually_ going on. Right now."

Isabella frowned and walked closer to her sister. Seeing the two of them face off was terrifying, not just because they were so alike. If they could set aside their differences and pair up they'd be a formidable team- but Beck guessed that wasn't going to happen in the near future.

"OK, Jade, you want the truth, you get it. Yes, I'm having an affair with Beck. No, no one cares what you think. Yes, I hate you. Mother always liked me best." Isabella rambled madly. Jade stepped back calmly. There was a flash of movement, Beck wasn't exactly sure what he saw, but now Isabella was clutching her cheek and swearing. Jade was rubbing her hand.

"You bitch." cursed Isabella.

"Well, I learnt from the best." said Jade.

"Jade, look . . ." Beck started to say, feeling now was the right time to intervene.

"No, Beck. Just no. How could you do that to me? I'm your wife. I've known you for eight years; we dated for six of them, why would you do this?" Jade yelled at him, her voice starting to shake with emotion.

Beck knew that if he didn't say something now he'd regret it. He walked closer towards his wife but before he could do anything he heard a deafening bang and then Isabella was screaming and he fell to the ground clutching his mid-section. He pulled his hand away and saw blood, thick and red, covering his hands with its stickiness. Beck felt faint and put his hand back down groaning. He could hear more screaming, Isabella and Jade yelling at each other probably, and then another bang and Isabella was on the ground, swearing.

Black spots started to appear in the corners of his eyes. Beck started to feel cold. So cold . . .

**~X~**

"I didn't do it, for God's sake." Jade said for the fifth time that day.

"Jade, there was only you, Beck and Isabella in the room. You're the only one left who lives. You obviously did something." said Officer Harrison, the policeman on duty that morning when Jade had been dragged into the room.

Jade sighed, more of a groan really, and opened her mouth once again to explain how she simply had no idea how Isabella and Beck had ended up dead on the floor of the Cicero, their blood staining the floorboards, before she was interrupted by a woman's voice.

"Okay, okay, Ted, what's going on here?"

Jade turned to see a woman in grey clothes standing in the doorway looking at Officer Harrison sternly.

"This prisoner is being unresponsive." Officer Harrison sneered.

The older woman stared at Jade for a moment then motioned for Officer Harrison to get out.

"I'll take it from here Ted." she smiled.

Officer Harrison looked like he was going to protest but then he agreed and left.

The woman sat down on a chair.

"The name's Matron Morton. All the girls call me Mama." said Mama.

"Hello Mama." said Jade nonchalantly. She was tired of all the prison guards asking her questions. She hadn't slept in about three days. arrison to get out.

"Now, I understand that you didn't do the crime." said Mama, lighting a cigarette then passing the box to Jade, who took one.

Jade nodded.

"So what you need is a good lawyer. The best, in fact. And I know just the guy." said Mama.

"How much is that gonna cost me?" Jade asked suspiciously.

"Phone calls are expensive. I'd say around thirty bucks."

"Thirty bucks!" exclaimed Jade. She sighed; she did need that lawyer.

She pulled the money out her dress. "He better be worth it." she grumbled.

Mama laughed. "Of course he's worth it. He's Billy Flynn, and he ain't ever lost a case."

**~X~**

Billy walked in the room and Jade turned around to face him.

"So you're the famous Jade West?" he asked. Jade nodded but he wasn't paying attention.

"I got a lot of ideas to sell this case. That's why you're at the top of my list." he smiled.

"The top of your list, hey? That sounds good." said Jade.

"Of course it's good, I'm Billy Flynn!" he said.

_But this show is mine_, Jade thought.

**~Fin~**

_**Yeah, yeah, I know, I haven't updated since the last millennium, I get it, cut the crap. Be glad you got another chapter, motherfuckers.**_

_**Kidding, I love you guys. Read and review pwease?**_


	6. Lipschitz

_**Yep …**_

_**I'm back.**_

_**And yeah. This is the last chapter. And I'm working on an oneshot for Victorious after this, quite similar to this, so if you liked this, check it out.**_

_**Oh, and if anyone was wondering, this completely AU with some canon thrown in. Cat, Trina, Tori, Andre, Jade, Beck, Sam and Freddie all went to school together.**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious, iCarly or Chicago.**_

"_I loved Al Lipschitz more than I can possibly say.  
He was a real artistic guy... Sensitive... A painter.  
But he was always trying to find himself.  
He'd go out every night looking for himself  
and on the way he found Ruth, Gladys,  
Rosemary and Irving.  
I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences.  
He saw himself as alive and I saw him dead." Mona, Cell Block Tango_

Tori thought she was in love.

Andre was perfect for her; he was so amazing she had no words to explain how much they loved each other.

Their artistic personalities matched each other perfectly and their friendship was strong enough to lead them through an argument. Everything was perfect.

Except … There was one thing …

Every night Andre would go out for a walk. He claimed he was trying to 'find himself'.

Andre had been her friend for over ten years, and her lover for almost three.

She knew when he was lying.

And he was.

**~X~**

So she gathered her information.

On Ruth. On Gladys.

On Rosemary.

And on Irving.

After Andre came in that night after his walk he found Tori waiting for him by the window, a hard, slightly mad expression on her face.

"Hey, chica, what's up?"

"Oh, nothing. Find anything interesting?" Tori's tone was calm but had a sharp undertone that Andre picked up on.

"No not really. Tor, are you alright? You seem all wonky."

"Well, I just happen to have reason. Who did you find tonight? Was it Ruth? Gladys or Rosemary? Was it Irving? Or someone else?" she snapped at him, her voice rising in volume.

Andre's eyes darted wildly around the room, so Tori knew she had hit home. "Uh, babe, I don't know- I mean, it's- I-"

His death was quick.

**~X~**

Officer Harrison seemed to have aged at least ten years in the last month. The bags under his eyes grew more and more with each case, and right now he'd had enough of female murderers.

This particular lady was the last straw. She seemed perfectly fine with what she'd done, and kept insisting that he'd 'had it coming'. The damned phrase kept cropping up more and more often. He was getting sick of it.

He was thinking of retiring.

"Just tell me what happened, then you can get out of here and I hopefully have to never see you again." he moaned.

"Well," said Tori a bit nervously. "I guess you could say we broke up because of artistic differences." Officer Harrison motioned for her to continue. "He saw himself as alive, and I saw him dead."

"Get out." he held his head in his arms.

**~X~**

"Didn't expect to see you here." said a voice beside Tori in the canteen. She turned her head to see none other than Jade West taking the empty seat on the bench beside her.

Tori quickly recovered from her shock. "I should say the same thing to you." she murmured, turning slightly so her shoulders faced Jade.

"Touché." Jade smirked. "So, I don't suppose I have to ask why you're in here."

"I killed Andre for cheating on me." Tori murmured, still not being able to get over it, but not regretting it in the slightest.

"Well, I killed Beck for cheating on my with my sister, so I win!" Jade cheered sarcastically.

"Hi hi hi!" called a high, girlish voice, and Tori's heart stopped. Cat appeared and sat down in front of her along with two other girls and …

Trina.

The look of distaste on her sister's face showed their feelings towards each other were neutral, so Tori turned her attention to Cat Valentine, long-time school friend and now, apparently, murderess.

The two girls behind her, one brunette and one nervous-looking blonde, sat down too.

"Cat … what are you doing here?" asked Tori. Jade giggled at the girl's obvious shock, and Tori had to elbow her to shut up.

"Same as you, silly." Cat laughed, pulling Tori's hair out of its neat bun.

"That's Sam, and that's Carly. She doesn't speak English." Jade murmured the last part.

"Oh." said Tori, nervously, looking at the other girls. They weren't much, but they were her friends, love it or leave it.

And as Sam said something funny, she laughed with them.

Because that's all she really could do in life.

Laugh. Or cry.

_**The end!**_

_**I hope you liked this story, and now that's its over, thank you all for reading and reviewing :)**_

_**So long and goodnight,**_

_**Paint Splat xx**_


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